Your Captains

On my 33rd birthday I booked my first fishing lesson with an Englishman whose name I can't remember. He taught lessons in his spare time for a little extra money. I sat next to him on a riverbank on some camping chairs with a holder for your drink, and he walked me through the setup of a rod. He avoided eye contact. We spent most of the time sitting, watching the tip of the rod for some 'action,' and talking about the different fish in this river. We discussed why fishing isn't what it used to be and why getting older seemed to be a contract he did not remember signing. Still, we never made eye contact. I enjoyed this time with the man, whose name I can't remember, more than most social activities I had most of my life engaging in. Before this day, I had never fished, but my God, did fishing enter my life and stay. Here’s what I now believe to be true: My need to find myself and be back in my body led to fishing.

Over the last year, Alexis and I have fished at beaches and off piers along the English coast, on small and deep-sea fishing boats, and in the waters of other continents. Each time, we spoke about how we—and others—need this. I was confused about how I was meant to 'teach anyone how to fish when I'm still learning myself.' She responded that I didn’t have to; community is about learning together. Like the classic line all anglers come to understand: 'It’s called fishing, not catching.' Fishing and coming alive by the water is for life.

I used to go fishing with my dad. He says he remembers taking me when I was in a buggy. Once I remember he asked me to hold his rod whilst we went to the shop, we been staring at it for a couple of hours with no bites. Suddenly the tip bent over and the rod shook. I’d caught an eel. I ended up putting it in a big coke bottle as I was so excited i’d managed to catch this thing on my own and it was all I had to put it in. He certainly wasn’t as impressed as I was.

I’ve always been fascinated by the sea. When I was a kid I used to want to be a Marine Biologist. I was particularly intrigued by sharks. Scared shitless of them but also spellbound by these fabulous, huge, ancient creatures that roamed our seas. Similarly, I LOVE crystal clear waters but I’ve also never been able to completely shed my fear of being in the ocean especially when I don’t know what’s underneath me. That being said I rarely pass up the opportunity to get in it, whatever the temperature. I’m inexplicably drawn to water and always have been.

Meeting Corynne got me back in touch with fishing. I’ve always wanted to get back into it but didn't have anyone to go with and I felt silly going on my own when I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Corynne gave me the confidence to just give it a go. It doesn't matter if you don’t know what you’re doing or if hook a seagull whilst casting and don’t look like a typical fisher person. if you feel like there’s something you'd like to try, give it go - who knows you might even become obsessed. There’s so much satisfaction in being able to catch some fish for your dinner and it’s bloody tasty too.

I have a keen interest in our ancestral history with water and how our skills and access have to impaired, thwarted and colonised. We’ve not only lost touch but many of us have trauma around water, maybe a lack of experience, a bad experience or something that lives in our DNA from generations before us. I am part of a group that meets weekly to discuss all topics around racism and decolonising therapy.

Black Fish is here to support your relationship with nature and with the water - learn to catch your own food and forage for delicious meals so we can feed ourselves and our communities for free. Most importantly I want to have fun and benefit from the tranquil and restorative nature of being by vast wide stretches of our beautiful and mysterious seas. and spread that joy as far and as wide as possible.